ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Sorry my hands just texted you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
