i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
