i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
