we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
