do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
