I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize