I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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