her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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