so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize