i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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