That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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