so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
