yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
