i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
