She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
