I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
