There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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