saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
