Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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