After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
