By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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