please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Buhtt sex?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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