I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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