I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
