I hate your face
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I want to fling myself into the sun
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
