I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
