i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
