Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
