After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't deserve a penis
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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