You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
