Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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