i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
