do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm having to shit out rocks
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
