i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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