How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
