she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize