Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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