She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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