For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
