Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize