Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
honey bunches of taint.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
