don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize