At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize