he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Your dad touched me again.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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