that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
