Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
