Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize