garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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