Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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