I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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