i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
