so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
