My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
