im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
