I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
