He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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