i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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