The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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