how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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