As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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