I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
