sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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