I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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